By Kathryn Hudson The Kit Fri., Nov. 30, 2018 After living through a divorce, I’m finally ready to start dating again. But I’m 54 now and haven’t been out on the market in decades. I am anxious about most of it, honestly, but I don’t know what to wear on a first date. I don’t want to look overdone or overly casual. What are people wearing to date these days? – Arlene, Toronto I love self-love — I really do. I believe in the value of confidence and the occasional Oprah-endorsed mantra. Self-worth should be at the core of every life decision you make. (Hopefully it was at the centre of your decision to move on towards a happier future.) But I am not going to tell you that all you need to do is believe in yourself before a big date. I’m not going to tell you to reach into the back of your closet and slip on any old dress that makes you feel comfortable before heading back into the dating fray. You don’t need a … [Read more...] about Ask the Kit: What do I wear on a post-divorce date?
Questions to ask on a first date
caption The answers are must-knows. source svarshik/Shutterstock You’ll never know everything about your partner – and that’s OK. But there are certain facts you should definitely know before things get serious. Think how much debt they have and how they feel about divorce. We checked out a Reddit thread on the topic and highlighted some of the most compelling questions. You will never get to know your partner perfectly. In fact, that’s one of the beautiful things about being in a relationship: Your partner is constantly surprising you. That said, there are some basic things you probably should know before establishing a life with someone. Over on Reddit, there’s a thread titled, “What questions should everyone ask their partners before getting married?” Most of the questions apply to couples starting to get serious, and not just couples heading to the altar. Below, we’ve highlighted seven of the most … [Read more...] about 7 unavoidable questions to ask your partner before it’s too late
By Jenna Birch The Washington Post Thu., Aug. 2, 2018 As a relationship writer who’s single, I spend a lot of time talking to men and women about how they date. One particular conversation on gender roles has been playing on repeat in my mind. I was at happy hour with two women, and we were talking about who gets the check on the first date. As both of them are brilliant, successful feminists, I was surprised they were adamant they would not go on a second date with a man who didn’t foot the entire bill during their first encounter. Why, exactly? I pressed them on their attitudes. As I dug deeper, I realized their answers had nothing to do with gender roles or favouring a traditional setup. It was more or less simple conditioning. “I’ve so rarely had a man not pay for the first date. I’d feel like he might not be interested enough if he didn’t,” one of them explained to me. I’ve often felt similarly. Maybe you have, … [Read more...] about Who pays the check on a first date? Even feminists are split on this question
source nd3000 / Shutterstock There’s plenty of debate about what you can and cannot ask on a first date. Some people say you shouldn’t go in too hard with the interrogation because it’ll make your date think you’re desperate. Others say the probing questions help you really learn about each other. Ultimately, it’s hard to know what to do. According to Erika Ettin, a dating coach and the founder of the dating site A Little Nudge, it’s best to keep things light the first time you meet someone. “A lot of people love to compare their sob stories, like woe is me, tell me about your divorce, when was your last relationship,” she told Business Insider. “Let’s see if you like each other first … You want to learn who the other person is today. You can get to know them, then learn more about the past.” On the other hand, if you date a lot, you might not want to rehash the same … [Read more...] about 7 awkward questions you should ask on a first date — and 3 you really shouldn’t
source Erik Lucatero / Unsplash Speaking about your exes on a first date might sound like a terrible idea. But, if you can do it in a healthy, mature way, you’re probably doing yourself a favour. How your new partner speaks about their past can be very revealing, and could show some ugly personality traits if they are overly critical. Or, if you can both be honest without feeling uncomfortable, you might have the basis for a great relationship already. You can never predict how well, or how badly, a first date will go. You might end up being side-barred, or simply not feel a spark. If things do seem to go well, there’s no guarantee they’ll even respond to your texts afterwards. In several countries around the world, bringing up an ex on a first date is considered to be a bad idea. However, according to psychologist Susan Krauss Whitbourne from the … [Read more...] about A psychologist says you should actually talk about exes on a first date — here’s why